you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
