im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
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It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize