The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
