Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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