You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
