i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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