Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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