I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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