I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
