I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
