I heard we made out
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
