Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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