We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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