i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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