at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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