just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize