So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
