I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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