and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize