I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
