I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I could fuck to npr.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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