sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
