fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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