its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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