shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize
