look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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