i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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