i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
