I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
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Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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