By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
