quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I came so hard my ears popped.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
