Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
