So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
