Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
