I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
