I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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