we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
