it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
ttyl tear gas
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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