So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
