Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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