we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
