he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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