i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you inspire me to be a worse person
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
