found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
