# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize