the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
