Whod you bang
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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