Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
