i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
