Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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