Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
