so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
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the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
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Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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