Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
