It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
