My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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