pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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