i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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