honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
