I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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