she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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