cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
