This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
