put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
