Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
